Why I'm breaking up with social media (at least for a while)
If you follow me on Instagram, then you know I'm taking a break from social media for a little while. It just all got to be too much - too much comparison, too much pressure to post the "perfect" pictures, and too much time with my face glued to my phone instead of focused on my family.
What, exactly, does all of that mean to me personally?
Too Much Comparison: We all know that feeling, you're absentmindedly scrolling through your feed when you stop at someone's post to scan their photo. They look so happy. Their kids look so happy. They must have the perfect relationship or the perfect body or the perfect job, right? I mean, even if you know that they are human - just like the rest of us - and actually don't have the perfect whatever, it's easy to succumb to that way of thinking. I, personally, found myself comparing my body to other women's bodies. Ugh, yuck. I hate saying that because I want to say that I'm a confident women who loves her body and is proud of its strength. But, the truth is, I started to criticize my body and feel ashamed of it because whenever I looked in the mirror I saw a roll under my bra strap or my booty wasn't round enough or my back wasn't sculpted enough or my arms were too big. "Why the fuck am I being this hard on myself?," I found myself asking. IT'S BECAUSE I WAS COMPARING MY BODY TO FITNESS MODELS. Fitness models who, in all likelihood, have photoshopped, edited or changed their pictures at least part of the time. But, because it's an Instagram page, it feels more real than, say, a magazine. Which is completely nonsense because of said photoshopping and filters (and the countless numbers of pictures they probably took to get the 'right' one). But the point is, I started not liking my body because of all that noise. I forgot to love myself because I was too busy picking out all the things I didn't like about myself. No more. I'm done with that negativity. Sure, as humans we will always play some version of the comparison game, and as a perfectionist I will always probably be a little too hard on myself. But I'm done comparing myself to women whose livings rely solely on working out all the time or looking "perfect". I ain't got time for that.
Too Much Pressure to Post the "Perfect" Pictures: This goes hand in hand with everything I said above. My mind got wrapped up in the hustle of promoting a "perfect" life. I refused to post pictures where I didn't look great or that didn't promote a "good vibes only" story. Guys, my life is MESSY. Sure, I want to post things that make me happy, but why is it that we only post things that are good or cute? Why don't we talk more about the real life shit that happens every.single.day? Yeah, I get that not everyone is an open book and doesn't want to share personal or difficult things with the world, but the pressure I started putting on myself to maintain an idealist IG page was ridiculous.
Not Paying Enough Attention to my Family: This one makes me a little sad. The things I talked about above were definitely starting to weigh me down, but this is what made me seriously start considering my break from social media. It is so easy to get sucked into the social media vortex, and before you know it, an embarrassingly long amount of time has gone by where your face has been glued to your phone and you have accomplished nothing. I knew it was time to start making a change when my five year old son began complaining that I was always on my phone and when tension between my fiancé and myself arose. I was so distracted by some false reality (see IG fitness models) or other people's lives that I let my own life slip by right in front of me. Did I actively listen to the story my step-kids were telling me about their days? Did I truly stop to look at the LEGO creation my son proudly made? Did I focus entirely on the movie that my fiancé and I had been wanting to watch together for months? No. I only kind of did all of those things, because the majority of my attention was on a 6" x 3" screen (or whatever the dimensions of the iPhone are). Once I started putting my phone down, I began to realize just how much I was missing out on (okay, in my defense, I wasn't on my phone that much, but it was enough to negatively impact my family and that, my friends, is too much).
So, how long do I expect my break to last? I'm not entirely sure, but I know that it needs to be long enough for me to detox and fully re-center. It's been a bit of a relief to step away from the comparisons, self-imposed pressures, and distractions that came along with my relationship with social media. I'm sure I'll be back - I do miss seeing life updates with friends whom I don't talk with that often but still adore, funny memes, and style/décor/food inspiration, but for now, this is working out just fine.
x, R
What, exactly, does all of that mean to me personally?
Too Much Comparison: We all know that feeling, you're absentmindedly scrolling through your feed when you stop at someone's post to scan their photo. They look so happy. Their kids look so happy. They must have the perfect relationship or the perfect body or the perfect job, right? I mean, even if you know that they are human - just like the rest of us - and actually don't have the perfect whatever, it's easy to succumb to that way of thinking. I, personally, found myself comparing my body to other women's bodies. Ugh, yuck. I hate saying that because I want to say that I'm a confident women who loves her body and is proud of its strength. But, the truth is, I started to criticize my body and feel ashamed of it because whenever I looked in the mirror I saw a roll under my bra strap or my booty wasn't round enough or my back wasn't sculpted enough or my arms were too big. "Why the fuck am I being this hard on myself?," I found myself asking. IT'S BECAUSE I WAS COMPARING MY BODY TO FITNESS MODELS. Fitness models who, in all likelihood, have photoshopped, edited or changed their pictures at least part of the time. But, because it's an Instagram page, it feels more real than, say, a magazine. Which is completely nonsense because of said photoshopping and filters (and the countless numbers of pictures they probably took to get the 'right' one). But the point is, I started not liking my body because of all that noise. I forgot to love myself because I was too busy picking out all the things I didn't like about myself. No more. I'm done with that negativity. Sure, as humans we will always play some version of the comparison game, and as a perfectionist I will always probably be a little too hard on myself. But I'm done comparing myself to women whose livings rely solely on working out all the time or looking "perfect". I ain't got time for that.
 |
| As soon as I took this picture I immediately started criticizing myself because I didn't look as thin or in shape as the models I saw on IG |
Too Much Pressure to Post the "Perfect" Pictures: This goes hand in hand with everything I said above. My mind got wrapped up in the hustle of promoting a "perfect" life. I refused to post pictures where I didn't look great or that didn't promote a "good vibes only" story. Guys, my life is MESSY. Sure, I want to post things that make me happy, but why is it that we only post things that are good or cute? Why don't we talk more about the real life shit that happens every.single.day? Yeah, I get that not everyone is an open book and doesn't want to share personal or difficult things with the world, but the pressure I started putting on myself to maintain an idealist IG page was ridiculous.
 |
| As cool as I think this photo is, I remember being consumed by getting the "perfect" shot and completely neglecting my fiancé and son during our outing |
Not Paying Enough Attention to my Family: This one makes me a little sad. The things I talked about above were definitely starting to weigh me down, but this is what made me seriously start considering my break from social media. It is so easy to get sucked into the social media vortex, and before you know it, an embarrassingly long amount of time has gone by where your face has been glued to your phone and you have accomplished nothing. I knew it was time to start making a change when my five year old son began complaining that I was always on my phone and when tension between my fiancé and myself arose. I was so distracted by some false reality (see IG fitness models) or other people's lives that I let my own life slip by right in front of me. Did I actively listen to the story my step-kids were telling me about their days? Did I truly stop to look at the LEGO creation my son proudly made? Did I focus entirely on the movie that my fiancé and I had been wanting to watch together for months? No. I only kind of did all of those things, because the majority of my attention was on a 6" x 3" screen (or whatever the dimensions of the iPhone are). Once I started putting my phone down, I began to realize just how much I was missing out on (okay, in my defense, I wasn't on my phone that much, but it was enough to negatively impact my family and that, my friends, is too much).
 |
| They are way too precious to ignore |
So, how long do I expect my break to last? I'm not entirely sure, but I know that it needs to be long enough for me to detox and fully re-center. It's been a bit of a relief to step away from the comparisons, self-imposed pressures, and distractions that came along with my relationship with social media. I'm sure I'll be back - I do miss seeing life updates with friends whom I don't talk with that often but still adore, funny memes, and style/décor/food inspiration, but for now, this is working out just fine.
x, R
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